Last Thursday morning I preached at Mattersey Hall for the first time. I am quite happy to say that it went very well considering it was the first time I somewhat did a preach independently. I still got feedback from people that I would look up to, people like my pastors as well as people that I look up to within my own life. The feedback from the actual preach went very well, people said that it was funny, a good message and quite challenging which is overall what I intended the preach to be. As I have now began this little blog posting now I should most likely put up the whole preach at some point but just thought I could just start typing words and see where that takes me.
Days coming towards it I was rather fine, friends were asking me how I was coming along with it all and I was okay, but in the back of my head I was asking myself questions like:
‘Who was going to be there?’ ‘Is it going to be hypocritical?’ ‘Are people going to mock me afterwards?’
Questions like them. If I am going to be honest here, I was quite humbled within the first few months at Mattersey whether through good or bad reasons but either way I lowered myself quite a bit in my own eyes, so within regards to the preach I knew that whatever people thought of me whether positive or not they will still be curious as to what God told me to preach that morning. I was very much encouraged as soon as that chapel service was over, as people coming up to me telling me I did a very good job and one of the reasons people said was that, I was being me. Which I didn’t even notice, which I guess they were right. So within that regard, with more and more people saying things along those lines my self-esteem which I previously felt diminished with the months previous, I am now feeling coming back and I’m constantly being blessed in that regard.
So what can I learn from this personally? Well. The past number of months, again have not been the most sucessful personally. Having hearing and seeing things what people have done and said. But overall everyone that was in the room that Thursday morning took something away and told me they enjoyed it, not just because what I said made an impact, or what I said made them slightly giggle, but because I was being genuine and real to them. So if I want to continue my ministry (I guess), and especially within my own walk, then I just need to be me and not put up any covers or blankets and hide away what people get very much attatched with.
Now if only I could write this amount of words for my essays, then I should on the right lines…