So I have been back home in Nottingham now for less than two weeks now and it has been good seeing family and friends and seeing how everyone is getting on. It has mainly for the past week been me going out with friends seeing how things are, what’s been happening in the local area and heading back to my home church.
Now my whole experience for the past year or so now, has been staying at Mattersey for many months (even feels like years at points), then coming back home for a few weeks then straight away back to Mattersey. So it feels odd, thinking that I’ll be heading back to Mattersey sooner than later, when in reality I’m not. So in a way, it’s very much I’m an outsider looking inside my home church and am not actually there, because eventually I shall be back at Mattersey, carrying on with my studies.
I’ve been speaking to a couple of friends about this feeling that I have, and they do very much feel the same thing about their own church back at home and they can not really make an impact within their church, because as already mentioned and will continue to mention, eventually I shall be back at Mattersey. Somewhat this was the same experience for me last year about to start my Mattersey journey, I couldn’t really be a sought after member of the team because I would be gone. This is very much a similar experience for me now, and will probably be that case whenever I am back at my home church.
Now I’m not putting my home church on blast here and hanging out the dirty washing as it were, I’m simply stating facts. If I was a Senior or a Youth Pastor and someone who has only finished one year of Bible college and started saying what should be different and how things should change, I would probably take everything with a pinch of salt, for the sole reason is because this guy won’t be here for long. So I can see why I shouldn’t necessarily be the centre of their universe (which is a bit heretical as well, when you think about it).
I guess what I’m trying to say is that the point of me being back at home is not to be the light bearer and change the way every church should operate, but instead just be a bit more laid back and not get worked up about it. Believe me, it is hard sometimes not trying to get involved. But to take a breather, relax, go out for coffee, go to work, start driving lessons, revise Greek, the standards of any 21 year old.
I should also state that I haven’t necessarily been doing much blogging as of late, I shall be attempting to do more writing, whether that be on general thoughts, theological points or devotional sassiness.